The role mentoring plays in our lives has
been generating a lot of dialogue recently. I love the fact that the word
“mentor” can be a noun (an experienced and trusted advisor) or a verb (advise
or train someone) as I believe it’s necessary for individual growth to both
have one and be one.
I can clearly state that I would not be in
the position I am today nor have enjoyed some of my successes were it not for a
number of mentors who either inserted themselves into my life or appeared when
I needed them the most. Some of you who have attended my presentations or seen
my TEDx talk (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFNi0jKyTyU) know that there was
struggle during my younger years. Some of my earliest mentors were educators.
Mr. Springer took me under his wing early on and nurtured what he termed “my
ability to lead” despite my efforts to hide my poverty by being disengaged. He
knew I didn’t always have lunch and he always had something for me. More than
nourishing my body, he nourished my soul. I wasn’t ready for it back then but
it resonates today. Ms. Fainsilber was another teacher who saw beyond the
current conditions and would regularly ask me when I would be ready to display
the “real me” instead of the lousy imitation I was showing. She pushed me
despite my pushback. Other educators played similar significant roles at key
times as I was finding me.
Although she won’t want to see this in
print (and I’ll acknowledge that by being brief), my wife really was the
catalyst for much of the growth I experienced. She helped me to find me but
would never consider herself a mentor. We’ve grown up together, and beyond the
people we were when we first met in a university dorm. Taking risks and seizing
opportunities has allowed me to meet some incredible people. Regular readers of
this blog will know the impact Wayne Hulley had on my life (http://umakeadiff.blogspot.ca/2014/10/i-lost-friend.html)
and how I carry many of his thoughts with me as I work with colleagues today.
Another significant mentor was Stanley French, who also recently, and suddenly,
passed away. Stanley was a huge support during all of my time with the BCPVPA.
He cultivated skills in me that I did not know were present and helped me to
hone my craft as a writer. He was a great sounding board who knew exactly when
to ask the right question and when to just sit back and let me talk it out. I
will miss his presence in my life. That is also the thing that happens as we
age. Mentors may leave us before we’re ready to let go. Recently I had a chance
to spend time with another former teacher who also reappeared in my life when I
became a school leader. Nick Parker-Jervis (PJ) was one of my first teachers
when I moved across the country at the age of fourteen. He had little time for
my “cool act” and plenty of time to remind me of what I could accomplish.
Again, I wasn’t ready to embrace that as an eighth grade student. However, when
I entered my first leadership role and became involved with the principal’s
organization, I was delighted to see my former teacher in a key role with that
group. Despite admonishing me for making him feel old, he took me under his
wing and provided insights that still resonate today. When we met for lunch a
short while ago, it was such an easy and comfortable connection. I am fortunate
to have people like this in my life and this reminds me that we equally have a
requirement to be a mentor to others.
I was reminded of this during a recent
visit to a school. After visiting some classes and debriefing with the team,
the principal walked me out to my car. He expressed appreciation for the
stretch goals we had talked about earlier and for pushing him beyond being
comfortable. He then asked if I’d be willing to mentor him as he continued his
growth. I am fortunate to work with a number of colleagues and support their
growth (which also supports my growth!).
Additionally, as educators we are all in
roles where we have great capacity to mentor students and new colleagues. In a
report entitled “The Mentoring Effect” commissioned by MENTOR, the national
mentoring partnership, some key points were highlighted:
- Youth with mentors are more likely to report higher engagement in positive activities.
- Young people with mentors report higher educational aspirations and matriculation into post secondary education, as well as greater engagement in positive activities.
- At-risk young adults who had a mentor are more likely to:
o Aspire to enroll in and graduate from college than those who did not
have a mentor (76 percent versus 56 percent).
o Report participating regularly in sports or extracurricular
activities than those who did not have a mentor (67 percent versus 37 percent).
o Hold a leadership position in a club, sports team, school council or
other group than those who did not have a mentor (51 percent versus 22
percent).
o Volunteer regularly in their communities than those who did not have
a mentor (48 percent versus 27).
